Capital Crescent Trail

There is a trail in Bethesda called Capital Crescent Trail that leads to Georgetown - it's about 10 miles long. It's a beautiful trail and families, friends, couples, dogs and children can all enjoy it.

A long time ago when we first moved to Silver Spring, Maryland, from New York we used to hang out in Bethesda every weekend. We once rented bikes and hit the trail, and while we didn't intend to go all the way to Georgetown, we ended up feeling pretty fit to just go the distance and biked all the there and back - 20 miles round trip. 

The scenery is beautiful and there is one area where there is a body of water -- Rock Creek maybe? When we biked there, I remember stopping to take a rest and thinking how it would be nice to come here with Piri.

We never did get a chance to. Moving out to Virginia, we hardly go to Maryland anymore. 

On Saturday we were supposed to head out to DC to hang out and grab some of our favorite pop and gelato but the Memorial Day weekend traffic ended up being a bit too much and so we made a last minute change on our navigation and headed to Bethesda for old times sake. We had lunch and window shopped and hit the trail with Piri. 

We weren't going to make it to that body of water that I wanted to show Piri let alone all the way to Georgetown - it was too hot and we didn't have proper shoes to walk that far. But I still like to.

So one day. When the weather cools down, we promised Piri that we'll take him, even if it takes the whole day. 

Memorial Day

Thanking the women, men and canines who served this Memorial Day.

Taking stock + the weekend

What do you have planned for the weekend? 

It's a 3-day weekend for us as it's Memorial Day on Monday. We don't have much planned other than trying to get some sightseeing under our belt with Piri and spending time with friends. I also plan on getting pampered a little {mani for me and pedis for my girlfriends}. Haven't done that in... I can't remember. I didn't even get one more for my wedding because I was too busy running around taking care of things. 

Anyway, I'm currently -- 

READING // Behind the Beautiful Forevers by Katherine Boo 

LISTENING // Really. Other than Guckkasten, Mood Indigo by Cheeze

WATCHING // The Sixties (CNN Original Series) on Netflix

PLAYING // With pom pom makers

WEARING // Flowy dresses and cheap $11 sunnies from Target. 

PINNING // Boho wear

HOPING // That squirrels and other critters will leave our flowers and vegetables alone 

ANTICIPATING // Piri's next oncologist appointment {we'll check to see if his cancer has spread}

COOKING // Steak dishes for Piri and fish dishes for us

WANTING // Adidas superstars {college faves along with Pumas and Vans - oh the memories} and Birks {I have worn these nonstop since high school {which were oddly super popular in my town} but stopped when they became a thing. Really, you can see here, here, here, here, and here!}

Have a wonderful weekend!

Bizarre Love Triangle

Yangkyu recently made a quick trip up to New York to see his family, visit his parents' resting place and also catch up with a few friends as well. While meeting his sister she told him how Michelle, her daughter, his niece, said, "I think Jane eemo {aunt in Korean} likes Piri more than Yangkyu samchon {uncle}." 

When he told me this I cracked up! 

We may have a bizarre love triangle thing going on here guys -- 

I like Piri more than Yangkyu. 

Piri likes Yangkyu more than me. 

Which makes Yangkyu having to like me more than Piri. 

And well... now that I think about it, perhaps it's not a love triangle after all. 

Ha.

Sometimes

A couple of days ago, Piri didn't have such a good day.

He woke up and paced around at 4 am and I realized he was heaving, trying to throw up.

I ran and grabbed a wee wee pad to catch his vomit.

I have gotten quite good at doing this since his cancer diagnosis.

If running and grabbing wee wee pads to catch your pet's vomit was an Olympic sport, I might really have a shot at winning the gold medal.

The following day and a half Piri didn't eat and had trouble drinking water.

We couldn't give him sub-q fluids or any of his other oral medications.

Things didn't look too good.

It was sad and gloomy in our house other than two very cheerful cockapoo guests who brought some sunshine to our day.

I saw Piri sleeping in his bed, his body so thin from old age and kidney disease and cancer.

This is not the Piri I remember, but in the distant future, I will always remember all of Piri, from when he was a rambunctious puppy to even now. Old and sick.

Sometimes there are days when I can't bear the thought of not having Piri in my life.

It's a painful feeling I can't quite describe.

But sometimes there are also days when everything is clear and I have this unexplained courage to be able to say good-bye, should that day ever come.

I have no regrets and death doesn't seem so scary.

It's probably one of the most oddest feeling I have ever felt.

When the feeling first overcame me, I almost felt bad. Bad that maybe Piri would take it the wrong way.

But still, most days I don't think I am ready or know how to be ready.

People tell me I will know. That Piri will guide me and tell me.

What if I miss his signs?

What if I don't know.

Happiness is

A bed full of sleeping dogs.

Dying at any age is hard

Piri didn't have a very good night last night. He got up multiple times and just coughed and walked around as if he was uncomfortable. I got up too, multiple times, throughout the night and slept next to him on the floor, gently petting him back to sleep. He had coughing issues in the past and we had it checked out with the cardiologist who said it wasn't anything too alarming. I'm not sure if last night's cough (and he's had bouts of coughing a couple of nights this past week) is something he's had already or if his cancer has now spread to his lymph nodes or lungs. His breathing is different now - the shallow sounding breathing - and so now I'm back to worrying again, looking things up on the Internet and silently freaking out. 

I'm so thankful that Piri is here but caring for a senior dog with cancer and kidney disease can, no is, a lot of work. I know we can't beat Piri's cancer. It's an un-winnable fight. What we're doing with his treatment is trying to slow the progression so we can buy some more time to be with him. But, because there have been so many other times where he beat the odds to come back, I thought deep inside that maybe we can win this. That he'll prove everybody wrong again. 

After last night, my hopes dashed just a bit. 

Taking in a dog means it's a promise to be with them until the end. I look back on how lucky we have been that things happened in our lives that complemented Piri's aging. We bought a house with a nice backyard just when it was getting slightly harder to go on walks all the time. I had quit my job and started DogVacay at home right when Piri needed someone to look after him more. I truly feel blessed that I can stay with him all the time to prepare his food, make sure he's not stressed being home alone and not have to worry about whether he's had an accident and is bewildered and confused. I know it's not that convenient for everyone and unfortunately in some cases many dogs are given up and abandoned during the years they need their human companions the most - when they are old and sick. But really, taking in a dog means it's a promise to be with them until the very end. Not just when they fit conveniently into our lives. 

And while I do find us in a fortunate situation, it's hard when people write it off as "you have it so easy" or "you have it so lucky." We do. But our dog still has cancer. He is also battling kidney disease. We are on borrowed time. My time is literally spent caring for him round the clock. I chose to do this, yes. But it's not something where I get to enjoy bon bons on the side. It's stressful. I lose sleep. I still have my work caring or guest pups who all have their needs. I still have things to take care of around the house. It feels like I'm working and taking care of things non-stop for 24 hours. Sometimes I don't shower or look put together for days. It's tiring. It's heartbreaking. But I'm not complaining. I chose to do this but it's definitely not easy.

But of all the things that is hardest to hear is "Piri is old - he's 17. You should feel lucky that he's lived until 17." I hear this all the time, even at the vet's office or at the oncologist's office. 

This doesn't make him dying any easier. 

I know we are lucky that he's lived until 17 and I hope everyone will get to enjoy being with their dogs well into their senior years. But just because he's lived this long doesn't make him dying less painful or ok. 

Dying at any age is just so heart wrenching to see. 

Well intentioned thoughts and condolences I am sure, but please remember this the next time you want to reach out to someone who's is spending their last moments with their beloved senior companion.

Dying at any age is hard. 

Finally a book to keep me up at night

You guys. I finally found a book that is keeping me interested page after page. For the first time in so many years {I can't even count because it's been so long} I found myself reading a book to sleep {no more Netflix!} and even though my eyes were getting sleepy I was trying to squeeze in one more chapter, one more page to get closer to the storyline.

This is my first time reading a book by Murakami Haruki. I picked it up randomly at a bookstore and started to read it yesterday. It's good. After I am done, I want to pick up more of his novels and give them a go. 

Man this is the feeling I've been longing to find. Please stick around?

I like this life with you // 007

"Come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned." 

 -- J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Essential oils + the weekend

I have always heard about essential oils and Young Living but I was a skeptical bystander. I read a lot of blog posts about people's testimonials and to be honest, it just seemed too good to be true. A little dab of oil that relieves stress and anxiety and muscle soreness and a whole laundry list of other things? Really? A simple as a dab on the wrist and behind the ears?

While I thought essential oils were a good thing I didn't think they were for me or my family. 

That is until Piri got cancer and started to have, what seemed like, respiratory issues. As if Florida didn't give us enough of a headache while we were there, he actually developed the respiratory issue in Key West.

Back home, he was put on an antibiotic that made him have such terrible side effects that lasted for days. He didn't have nasal discharge or any other symptoms that suggested something serious. He is vaccinated for kennel cough and is on monthly heart warm medicine. We just couldn't figure out what it was - these sounds he made through his nose that resembled a whistle or a tiny toot horn. I thought maybe something was stuck inside his nasal passage and I was hoping he would sneeze it out.

Our vet suggested we put him on another kind of antibiotic, which he was on previously for something else and did well on - Clamavox - but I just couldn't put him through another round of medications, after what he had been through with Zirthromax and everything else he's on for the long-term.

And so I looked for other options.

A fellow dog person on Instagram suggested we try spirulina supplement which, among other benefits, strengthens the immune system. We immediately purchased that and put him on it. He's iffy with it but has been eating it more than not. I also came across the benefits of essential oils for pets, in particular Frankincense and how it can help with the immune system but may also have cancer fighting properties. 

Whether it sounded skeptical or not, I was willing to try it. With him, I'm willing to try just about anything to help him feel better as he goes through and tries to find stability in this part of his life's journey with cancer and kidney disease.

I read about different ways to use essentials {which should be carefully considered for people, but especially for pets} - topical, oral and diffusing. I decided diffusing would be best for Piri. Signing up for a membership and purchasing the starter kit ended up being most cost efficient than just buying the diffuser and Frankincense alone. Through the start kit we would be receiving a bunch of other essential oils, including what we had originally wanted to try, Frankincense.

We have been using it on and off for a couple of weeks now. I can't say that I've noticed significant improvements although the whistling and toot horn noise is gone, but it's been replaced by something that now sounds like shallow breathing or breathing with something that is blocking one of his nostrils. Something like when we have a cold or a stuffy nose.

We will continue to use it though. I have also started to diffuse lemon, which has a lovely fragrance and helps clear up the air.

The essential oil diffuser sits in our living room and at night in our bedroom we have our humidifier on. We hope this combination will continue to be beneficial for Piri and to us as well.


What do you have planned for the weekend?

We have a dog guest at Piri's Place and so much of our attention will be spent on playing and caring {and spoiling} him. There is also a terribly outdated Netflix DVD we have, Les Miserable, that we should probably watch and return so we can move on with our queue. I also need to catch up on VEEP and Sundays are dedicated to watching a Korean show called King of Masked Singer. I also received a clean out bag from ThredUp and will likely do another purge of my closet.

Have a great one friends!

#chewyboxlove

We're Chewy addicts.

Every so often we are ordering a box full of things - for Piri and for Piri's Place. The website has such a great selection of quality dog food, treats, supplies and more, their prices are great, their customer service is amazing, they offer 2-day shipping and it's free when you purchase $50 or more. Sometimes it feels like our Chewy box comes within a day (we did a late night ordering, then our order was processed the next morning and our box arrived at our door step the following day). 

All of Piri's supplements are purchased through chewy.com along with his treats, treats for our DogVacay guest dogs and our favorite grooming wipes, which we order at least 3 every time we are ordering something on Chewy (gotta keep everyone's paws and wee wee and potty areas clean!). 

We've also been experiencing with new dry food for Piri - something that is lower in phosphorus because of kidney disease but also something that's good quality. We tried Wysong senior, which had a good run (dogs with kidney disease and cancer get sick of certain types of food easily), and will now try out FirstMate Senior Pacific Ocean Fish Meal. Dry food isn't his main meal but we like to have it out in case he wants to nibble on something if he's feeling a little hungry between full meals.

From time to time, we will still head out to Petco, Petsmart and Wylie Wagg because shopping for dog products at an actual store is just as fun as clicking through online. But chewy.com really is so very convenient for us. 

Here are some of our favorites: 

 // The Honest Kitchen Goat's Milk 

 // The Honest Kitchen Bone Broth with turmeric 

 // The Honest Kitchen Proper Toppers (grain free chicken)

 // EarthBath grooming wipes 

 // EarthBath tooth and gum wipes

 // Natural Balance Dental Chews (duck meal formula)

 // Earth Rated poopbags (pantry pack)

 // Dr. Harvey's Coenzyme Q10

 // Wellness WellBites (chicken and lamb)

We're expecting our latest Chewy box to arrive today. Woot woot.

Where do you shop for your pets? And what are their favorites?

(I don't think I have to write this but just in case -- this post wasn't sponsored. We just really love Chewy!)