Dear Piri,
// I went on and on and on about why I love you and this senior stage of your life to help raise awareness during this month, which is Adopt a Senior Pet month, but I never asked you.. what do you like most about being a senior?
// Some days I just don't want to do anything. No energy, no motivation. Yesterday was one of those days and I absentmindedly fell asleep on your spot on the couch and didn't bother ironing Yangkyu's shirts. Did you mean to help me? I woke up to find that you had scratched your way on top of those clean shirts. Maybe you were trying to iron them for me. I know you want Yangkyu to know what a good boy you are for doing that, but maybe we'll just keep this one between us.
// It feels like just yesterday when we went about our days eating what we wanted and being playful and energetic. Never in my wildest imagination did I think that you were sick with kidney disease. Sorry that we caught it so late. Sorry that you had such a rough time with all those medications. Sorry that your food tastes so bland now. Sorry that your entire schedule seems like it's turned upside down. Nothing works like clockwork now. It must've felt a little overwhelming. I hope you still feel a small bit of comfort knowing that we still love you to no end.. and that we can still share apples, too. Not as much as we used to, but we still can.
// I still feel guilty you know. Sometimes I can't be vocal. Sometimes I can't just say what I want to say because I feel like I'll hurt people's feelings. I wish I did though because I end up feeling bad because I feel like I didn't stick up for you. I wish I was a bit tougher, questioned more and set my foot down harder at the first feeling I had in my gut when I knew something wasn't quite right with the medications you were on. I know I said it before, but I'm so sorry Piri. I'm so sorry for putting you through that.
// Piri, it's right around the corner! The most wonderful time of the year is right around the corner! But we can start watching those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies now. Remember the ones we watched last year? What was it called? Oh I forget. But they were so bad.
// Yes. You're wearing your Christmas jammies again this year.
// Yes. I'm taking a picture and posting on Instagram.
// You know, sometimes when you sleep, you wiggle your nose quite excitedly. Are you dreaming of eating something good? Is it like you're sniffing it, ready to take a big bite and then you wake up? I had those kind of dreams too. So cruel. At least let us have one small bite before waking up, right?
// Sometimes I wish it was just you and me and Yangkyu. And a bunch of other dogs and farm animals. On a farm somewhere near the mountains of Vermont. We can go collect eggs together and huddle around the fire to keep warm. We can grow our own produce, get some milk from our cow and goat friends and make our own adventures with the animals and people we like. Wouldn't that be nice? Sometimes I just want to be away from everything I know now and start new.
// Okay, you can be in charge of collecting the eggs. As long as you don't bother the chickens. That wasn't really my point of the story but ok. You love chickens. I get it.
// I found an amigurumi cocker spaniel pattern. The little doll looks exactly like you. I'm still learning how to read patterns but I'm going to crochet it. You just wait and see. And I might put it on your head. I hope you don't mind. Thanks for always being such a good sport about it.
// Is it selfish of me to want everything? My biggest fear is not being able to start a family with you. Yangkyu always scolds me and tells me to take it day by day.. but you know, sometimes I feel so desperate like I don't have enough time. Or that we don't have enough time. But i know.. while I worry about all this, the only thing that is happening is losing time.
// Thanks for giving me a pass though during my times of desperation. That's why I like that you and Yangkyu are always in my corner.
// They said that if we fold 1000 cranes, we'll be granted one wish. I'm gonna fold 1000 cranes. And we're going to get that wish.
// What are you going to wish for, Piri?
Love,
The human girl who loves you to infinity and beyond.
Read other Letters to Piri here.
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