Looking ahead

"Happy New Year! I can't believe 2019 is almost over!"

That is what I've been saying to everyone lately. I really cannot believe this year is out. When I put it into perspective, end of the year means that it's almost already one year since Momo and Noah joined our family. While at times it feels they have been with us for much longer, I also feel like they just got here. In a blink of an eye, winter turned to spring then summer to fall and now winter again and we're looking ahead to new experiences and adventures in 2020.

Many people who know me know that I don't do resolutions. For one, I've been terrible at keeping them and it's just a deflating feeling when it's not even a month into the new year you find yourself wondering where all that hype and motivation went.

But the other day when I was out walking our guest dogs I found myself in the most peculiar outfit. Pink sweatpants, a red North Face fleece jacket and my bright blue running shoes. I don't think I have been so disastrously un-color coordinated in my entire life. 

I was telling this to Yangkyu the other day and I made a vow. To actually look halfway decent (in every day starting "tomorrow" (which was actually yesterday).

You see, dog sitting means that my clothes get dirtied a lot. Often. Within seconds of taking a shower and changing my clothes. There is drool and dirt and food and sometimes a pungent smell of a dog will linger. I'm not sure when it happened but I began to revert to sweats as my go to outfit. And I have a few select ones that I began to wear on a daily basis whenever I had guest dogs with me. Somehow that began to manifest into my off-dogsitting days. Normally I was happy to finally "dress up", do my hair and make up and go out. That quickly became a hassle and I went out looking a bit frumpy. And I began to not like feeling this way.

And so yesterday, after a busy morning routine with all the dogs, I got ready. And I took out a pair of jeans and a sweater. I did my hair. I put make up on. And while I still got stains, dog food and drool on my clothes, I got through my first day of keeping my promise to go through the day looking put together.

Here's to day 2. (Edit: I'm just coming back to go over what I wrote after showering and not only do I have jeans and a "nice" shirt on, I'm even doing a facial pack this very moment. Huzzah!)

I hope I'll be able to come back some point next year and say that I'm continuing to do this.

PS - Yangkyu just walked in and saw that I was actually writing. "You're blogging?" This space has been such a hard place to come back to. I used to always have something to say or share. Now I grasp at what I want to share. Are my stories good enough? Funny enough? Relevant enough? Are my pictures good enough? Do people even care? Will people judge? I used to find moments so well and I think I got caught up with worrying over what everyone might say and trying to find perfection in words and pictures that I just gave up trying. And so I hope to also go back to where this all began - writing and sharing for the purposes of keeping a diary of our family and being thankful for anyone who wants to follow along.

2019 Year End Giving

It's that time of year again when we share our giving list for the year in hopes that it may encourage some of our friends to donate before the year is out. No amount is too small to help the cause you believe in.

1. Abandoned Angels Cocker Spaniel Rescue (March)

2. Abandoned Angels Cocker Spaniel Rescue (May)

3. Immigrant Welcome Center

4. Rockstar Cocker Rescue

5. Abandoned Angels Cocker Spaniel Rescue (September)

6. Hawaiian Island Humane Society

7. OBG Cocker Spaniel Rescue

8. Asan Angels Sanctuary // Band for Animal Asan

9. Centreville community (food drive, high school band)

10. Fairfax County Animal Shelter

Past Year End Givings
 // 2018
 // 2017
 // 2016
 // 2015
 // 2014
 // 2013

Pumpkin Patch

I got these adorable pumpkin hoodies on chewy.com for Momo and Noah and now we have a little pumpkin patch of our own.

Speaking of pumpkins, we'll be carving 7 over the weekend. That's 7 for me, Yangkyu, Momo, Noah and our three across the rainbow bridge, or who we like to call the Sunflower Gang - Piri, Bartles and Lady. We actually plan on carving a sunflower to represent them and while it looks perfect in my head, I just hope it turns out looking like a tall sunflower. We picked out jack o lantern carving patterns for the rest of us and I just can't wait to have it out in the backyard like we do every year (even though our backyard is currently a hot mess right now and decorating it hasn't even crossed my mind. It literally looks like a big dump).

I can't believe this will be our last weekend of our break before we have guest dogs again (our next weekend break comes right before Thanksgiving). We hope to take Noah and Momo out to a short outing. We don't get to do this a lot with them and so it's been harder to establish an outing routine with them. We're also trying to figure out what's best for Noah as he isn't the biggest fan of riding inside cars and so we don't want to stress him out by taking him out all the time. I realized that with Piri he was the happiest when he was going places with us and so we adjusted our lives to do everything with him. With Noah it is the complete opposite and so we'll just have to condition ourselves to say it's ok to leave him home alone and even take just Momo with us so that she can start to get used to going places without Noah (she is so dependent on him though and does so much better when he is by her side). Definitely a tricky puzzle for us to figure out as a family but we'll find something that works for all of us.

Lately we have been terrible about working out, cooking at home and including vegan meals and so we hope to jump start all that starting this weekend. Fingers crossed it doesn't fall off our plates again.

Happy weekend! 

Life lately, according to my iPhone

"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to the people who don't understand."

 -- The Velveteen Rabbit, Margery Williams

Five Red Apples jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Momma called the doctor and the doctor said No more teddy bears jumping on the bed!

Last weekend, we packed up our hatchback and drove about an hour to a dog friendly pick your own fruit called Mackintosh Fruit Farm. Momo and Noah are still getting used to walking on a leash and being out in public places but I see them improving each time we are out. The weather was a lot cooler but we still made sure Noah was hydrated before making the trip out - making sure he got 100 cc of sub-q fluids and also his morning helping (about 4 oz) of Answers Fermented Goat's Milk (it's important for dogs with chronic kidney disease to stay hydrated. The sub-q fluids not only help with hydration but it also helps flush toxins out of the body, something the kidneys can no longer do properly). 

Both our dogs are also nervous passengers in cars and so we gave both CDB oil, which completely calmed Momo down (she was incredibly chill in her brand new car seat riding shot gun) and while Noah was still nervous he wasn't shaking like a leaf like he usually does. We buy our CDB oil from Dogs Naturally Market, although the brand we use is no longer available. We have also used Charlotte's Web. 

Fuji and Golden Delicious apples are for picking the day we arrived and we got a bucketful to take home with us. We always try to save some to make a pie but we go through them so quickly that there is never enough leftover. Noah also loves apples too but Momo could care less about them. She takes after Lady so much in this way (only meat for those girls).

Mackintosh Fruit Farm is completely dog friendly, which is great, but I did find dog poop here and there that owners didn't bother to pick up (this completely gets me annoyed by the way - pick up after your pet)! There is also an eating area and a market place. While we enjoyed their grilled cheese sandwich, chicken nuggets and hot dogs at one of their many picnic tables they have available, we also picked up their apple pie and pumpkin cheesecake to take home and the only regret I had was not getting more of their pumpkin cheesecake (so good).

We recently got these leashes from Ruffwear for Momo and Noah. I already have a leash from Found My Animal that can be worn at the waist for a hands free experience (I got it for Lady and me) but the one from Ruffwear has stretch-webbing that gently pulls them back and not a sudden jerk. Momo and Noah are both notorious for constantly moving and roaming even when we are sitting down and while  we'll be trying to mat train them for future outings (thank you for the idea Pearly's mom!) we hope the stretch-webbing will be a bit gentler on them as they continue to explore their surroundings.

I used to always dislike fall (summer was my favorite season). I couldn't describe what it was but I had a hard time emotionally transitioning from summer to fall (I later learned other people had this as well and there is actually a name for it - Seasonal Affective Disorder). I would have these bouts of sadness and the thought of evenings getting darker faster was something I wasn't looking forward to at all. Even fall foliage, which is beautiful was sad to see. But then two years ago I stopped having these cycles of depression and I couldn't wait for fall to come around. It completely surprised me because I have had this difficulty transitioning for most of my adult life. With Noah and Momo, I feel like a completely different person this season and have fully embraced fall. And our home is currently decked out in Halloween decorations (since end of September), which normally hasn't been the case around here.

We still have pumpkin carvings and Thanksgiving day celebrations left for this season and I look forward to them all. 

 // 2014 apple picking at Stribling Orchard 

 // 2013 apple picking at Homestead Farm

Anxious

Actually anxious doesn't even begin to describe how I have been feeling lately. It mostly has to do with Noah. Actually it is all Noah. 

First, there is his big surgery scheduled for September 4th. We went in for a consultation at a dental specialist last week and we decided that he really does need cleaning, extractions and have his oral fistula closed to prevent his lungs from possibly getting infected should food particles get stuck there (if not already). There are pros and cons for him to have surgery vs. not and ultimately it is up to Yangkyu and I to decide. And these types of decisions are always so hard to make. He is old and has medical issues. Will the surgery make him worse off? Better off? Will not having the surgery make him worse off? Better off? Is there a manual that has the exact answers we're looking for? Because right now that would help greatly.

The doctor said she isn't worried at all with his age. To be honest, I'm not either. With Piri, I always had this fear of putting him under due to his age, which made us prolong a dental that he could have had at 13 instead of at 17. I think older dogs are more resilient than we think and with proper pre-op steps and preparations, seniors can get the dental cleanings and surgeries (depending on how invasive it is) they need.

Instead of his age, the doctor was worried more with his kidney disease There is always a risk that surgery will make it worse. The kidneys work to filter out anesthesia from the body. Dogs like Noah who have kidney disease can't properly do that and so there is always a higher risk that they may get damaged even more.

I don't worry too much with surgery... or maybe I should say, I have something that worries me more than surgery, which is the pre and post-op. 

For one, starting tomorrow Noah needs to come off several supplements that help not only with his kidney disease but also his memory and cognitive function.

Back in mid-July I noticed Noah behaving rather odd but chalked it off with it being his kidney disease. Noah was sleeping all day but getting up every two hours at night wanting to go out - sometimes doing his business but most of the times doing nothing and coming back in. After a few of nights of this routine I began to get worried and then it all of the sudden hit me. Dementia. I thought Noah was showing signs of dementia. He was sleeping up to 6-7 hours during the day without having to go pee but at night he was constantly getting up. I read something called Sundown Syndrome and it seemed to be what Noah was having. He also had difficulty finding the door to come back inside, standing on the wrong side of the sliding door. Constantly standing there even though I was sliding the door open and shut to let him know where to come in. Out of the many signs of dog dementia, Noah was only showing these two - he wasn't circling or pacing (Noah had a clear objective to go outside and not pace around indoors, but once outside he did pace aimlessly), barking out of nowhere, having accidents, showing aggression to other dogs or not eating. In fact, he had a great appetite, was chill with Momo and all our guest dogs, always made sure to do his business outside and never barked. The only aggression he was showing was when he was getting his sub-q fluids, which he had never done before. 

After reaching a bit online, I came across a video of a man whose dog had dementia and he had started her on herbal supplements. I bought all three but began to give Noah just one of them called Heart Hearth by Animal Essentials (the other two were human grade and had alcohol in them - It is my understanding that you can mix human grade supplements with hot water so the alcohol can evaporate but I decided to try the one designed for dogs first to see how Noah would do). This particular one has gingko biloba which is known to help dogs with dementia. Not to sound like an exaggerated review but after three days, Noah's day and night routine went back to normal and he did not have trouble finding the door to come back inside again. Needless to say, I was in complete shock. 

Unfortunately this is the very supplement that Noah has to come off tomorrow for an entire week (ginkgo can cause issues with clotting and so it is recommended that patients come off of it pre-surgery) and quiet possibly up to three weeks post surgery. Noah will also likely have to come off his Rehmannia, Milk Thistle, Goat Milk and Fish Stock, all that help with his kidney disease and all that I syringe feed directly into his mouth. Because he is having surgery not only to clean and extract his teeth but to close up the oral fistula (hole in his gum), I am not to touch his mouth flap and open it until he is healed completely, which can take up to 3-4 weeks. So unless he miraculously ends up taking his supplements with his food (highly doubtful - he is absolutely picky with the smell) and laps up the goat milk and fish stock on his own, we are going without all the good things that I think has been helping him these past few months.

To add on to this perpetual worry I have, I woke up this morning at 5 am to find that Noah had vomited all over his bed. It was undigested food, a late night half meal he had, but it also included white foam as well. He vomited yellow bile four more times since. I have given him something to soothe his stomach and while I think I may know what caused this sudden vomiting episode, I still worry nonetheless (for me, I tend to imagine things like his BUN and creatinine and maybe even liver values skyrocketing). 

And this is all happening a day before he goes in to his vet for his pre-op blood work. Of course it would happen on this day rather than any other day, right?

I think what scares me the most is the unknown. How will Noah fair with his ginkgo biloba? Will he start to get up every two hours for an entire week or up to four weeks? How are we going to even manage this if this is the case?

How will he fair without his kidney support supplements? He is already resistant to receiving sub-q fluids. What if he continues to go downhill after his surgery?

I just am not sure what to expect. I am sure we will figure things out as they happen as we have always done, but getting there is just.. always really hard.

I know. One day at a time. One thing at a time.

It's just... sometimes that's easier said than done.

Yangkyu is back home + what our days currently look like + a little Noah update

Yahoo! Yangkyu is back home after being away for two weeks and we're pretty happy to have him back. He flew in on Saturday morning and was home by early afternoon. Everyone - all the dogs - were incredibly excited to see him which means that now that their favorite person is here I am basically chopped liver.

While caring for nine dogs has been doable it does come with challenges and so it is certainly nice to have an extra hand to help with bathroom breaks, treat times and giving everyone their own individualized attention.

We normally don't take so many dogs at once but many of our regulars were going away at the same time and so we decided to make room to accommodate as many guests as we could.

With this many dogs though it is a constant something - somewhere, someone is bound to throw up or have diarrhea or need to go pee at 3 am. There is the constant feeding every two hours for a couple of dogs who are all on their own schedules, treat times for everyone else, wiping down floors, vacuuming, doing the laundry, treating ear infections, administering medicine, eye drops, squeezing in walks when we can, diluting the yard from dog urine so that we don't end up with grass burn everywhere, spraying the yard to free it from unpleasant odors and more. I do get breaks every so often - so I can drink coffee, shower (yay), close my eyes for a few minutes, maybe read the paper and there are the golden moments when I actually get to sit down and write a blog post. Currently all the dogs are napping but I am inching closer and closer to when one of the dogs is going to get up wanting to eat again, but before that it's a quick bathroom break. There is also a load in the washer that needs to go in the dryer and once 11:30 am rolls around, it's bathroom break and treat times for everyone else.

Then there are the photos and the videos - I am constantly looking for a moment, a candid moment if possible, to capture to send over to clients. I try to edit the pictures and resize them in the afternoon but if I miss out on the chance then I do them around 6 pm once everyone has eaten and gone out to pee and potty and are taking their evening naps. Photos are edited as quickly as possible, uploaded on Google drive then resized on Photoshop. Videos too are edited and uploaded on Instagram and I sit and write individualized reports to all clients. I have to remember times when everyone ate, took their medicine, how they are sleeping, playing and enjoying their time. I note any concerns or issues or any funny moments they had.

Once that is done then it's feeding time again for a couple of the dogs, maybe a sit down dinner for me (Yangkyu usually waits around to eat with me - lately we have been just eating standing up in the kitchen though as our eating area is shared with the dogs and I also don't want to risk waking them up) and then a little TV before we start to get everyone ready for their night time routine around 9:30 am - bathroom breaks, brushing teeth and getting everyone situated for a good night's sleep. When we have multiple dogs I sleep downstairs with everyone. It's just gives me a peace of mind that I am close to them in case something happens or if they need me in the middle of the night. Sometimes this is just a few nights or sometimes as long as three weeks.

Because I've been doing this for several years, I am able to set a routine and stick with it to keep the day flowing as fluid as possible. It's almost as if my body gets programmed to work a certain way, which helps a great deal especially if we have a pretty full house of dogs who have their own needs. 

I am looking forward to our next break though. That'll happen in a couple more weeks. We will be celebrating a wedding anniversary, a doggy birthday and also deal with a few things like Noah's dental. We were planning on just taking him to his regular vet to get the procedure done but I decided to get another consultation with a specialist since Noah is older, has a few medical issues and just is a nervous, fearful dog who tries to escape whenever he can (he is more like this lately and our latest sub-q fluid session was a complete nightmare with Noah being incredibly resistant - I told Yangkyu that it felt like we were doing an exorcism session with Noah). The drive is an hour out which Noah isn't going to like but we went to them with Piri and they were (and still are) pretty great. At his regular vet we would need to drop him off at 7 am and pick him up around. 6 pm. He has to stay inside a cage for a few hours before the surgery actually begins at 12 pm and he may not even be the first to go. The procedure at the specialists goes much quicker which will lessen his time waiting inside the cage, which I know he is going to absolutely hate and work himself to death trying to get out.

Our consult is on August 21 (on his birthday - oops) and hopefully he can be a candidate to undergo procedure to clean and extract teeth as well as maybe close up the hole in his gum. I imagine that his teeth are bothering him (I have my own issues with my teeth and sometimes they are sensitive or hurt and I don't want Noah to feel the same way).

But this is all still in another month - I'm anxious but we're just going to have to take it day by day.

Hope you have a wonderful week!

Our crew will be one short as we say bye to Lanna today. 

 // Piri's Place on Instagram